Under and Over

"Have you found that people often underestimate you?"

Yes, sometimes. I have learned not to get offended at a lot of things. If I am offended by something, mainly it is my misperception of the situation. I take pleasure in an air of mystery surrounding me but mostly it's humorous when someone underestimates me.

The people in my life who love me the most are the ones who know how talented I am and appreciate all that I have to offer now. Those are the people I want and need in my life- the kind that love me for who I am now, not who I will become later. Yes, it's important to see someone's potential and it's also important to be the kind of person who is constantly seeking to become better- but it's also good to enjoy life now and not constantly want something better than what you currently have. Ah, balance in all things Obi Wan.

Amy xoxo

"Crystalised"
by The XX

You've applied the pressure
To have me crystalised
And you've got the faith
That I could bring paradise

I'll forgive and forget
Before I'm paralyzed
Do I have to keep up the pace
To keep you satisfied

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I've done things in small doses
So don't think that I'm pushing you away
When you're the one that I've kept closest

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

You don't move slow
Taking steps in my directions
The sound resounds, echo
Does it lessen your affection
No

You say I'm foolish
For pushing this aside
But burn down our home
I won't leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the sea
I wish the tide would take me over
I've been down on my knees
And you just keep on getting closer

Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh

Placid as I melt into the sea
(Things have gotten closer to the sun)
I wish the tide would take me over
(And I've done things in small doses)
I've been down onto my knees
(So don't think that I'm pushing you away)
And you just keep on getting closer
(When you're the one that I've kept closest)

Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow
Go slow

Run with me

This morning I woke up at 5:30am again to go running. I ran with Rachel and Stephanie met up with us later. Sometimes it's hard for us all to get together right at 5:45am but I am proud of what we have done so far! For the most part we don't miss out on our runs together.

I was able to take an hour lunch break and walk across the street to the Outdoor Retailer convention with Annie. Annie is an avid climber so to step inside of her world was interesting for me. She showed me some climbing shoes she owns from Sportiva called Woman's Katana. Then we visited the Mad Rock area where we were able to try on their new 2012 shoes. They are orange and look like these ones posted below. I even climbed around the whole kiddie rock wall haha. Not sure if it was only for kids but it was fun nevertheless.

After I got back to work I was able to drive a car which I haven't ever driven (which surprised me since I have driven almost everything!). I got to drive a Dodge Avenger from the airport back to our downtown office so you know I went a little fast on some parts! At work we also got free pizza with Root Beer because our coworker Tyler is leaving for law school at ASU and today was his last day.

When I got back to my office inside the Marriott, I saw a giant square vase full of beautiful flowers for me! It shocked me at first because I don't even have a boyfriend...

But he did take me out for dinner at Trio resturant. I was stuck deciding between two dishes- the butternut squash three cheese ravioli with almonds or the pork tenderloin with golden lemon potatoes. I went with the ravioli and loved my choice. We also got Rosemary baked flatbread with roasted tomatoes and whipped white bean spread to start and I was in heaven!! That was one of the best meals I have ever had!

I have come to the conclusion that I am a pretty amazing girl. I am intelligent, beautiful, creative, fun loving and overall a great catch! If a guy doesn't think I am smart enough or pretty enough- screw him! Guess what? Ultimately the love I need to worry about is self love!

I say run with me because what I need is a guy who can keep up with my progression and my free spirit and spunk. Yes it's totally cool to watch a movie and make dinner at home most nights. But I need a guy in my life who can keep up with me by doing what he is passionate about. That's why I love my friends like Brian who works in a bike shop and does his triathalons. Doesn't that just ooze passion? I think that kind of dedication is incredible- to put your whole heart and your whole life into something you love doing. Now I need to take my own advice and start pounding out some more art!

Amy xoxo

"Landslide"
by Dixie Chicks
Stevie Nicks cover

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too

So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down

Wish you were here

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it." I love Ferris Bueller! I've been trying to finish the movie for weeks now but I've been so tired at night that I simply fall asleep. Lately, my life has been moving pretty fast, but I wouldn't change a bit of it! I've been meeting a lot of people and making deeper connections. I've been more assertive and lived with more purpose and more intent. My motivations are true, honorable and positive. It feels good to set boundaries and defend those lines. I feel like I can be myself and if someone doesn't like me- who cares? I like me! I am in a healthy position to leave behind all of the crap that has happened to me and move on. For once in my life I don't need to be in a relationship to feel secure. I am the creator of my own safety net. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share these awesome life experiences with, like coming home to a guy at the end of the day. I love being able to share my life with someone! For now, I am ok with just experiencing things on my own and living in the moment by enjoying time spent with my friends.

Amy xoxo

"Wish You Were Here"
by Incubus

I dig my toes into the sand.
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind, pretend that i am weightless and in this moment i am happy.

[Chorus:]
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here.

I lay my head onto the sand.
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting ufo's.
I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment i am happy, happy.

[Chorus]

The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in.
Maybe I should hold with care,but my hands are busy in the air.

[Chorus]

The Bachelorette

Last week a thought entered my mind which was brought up again during my run this morning. This is a topic I think a lot of single people cringe at the thought of because it is a lifestyle which is drastically different compared to the one they are living now. I am talking about marriage! I have a list of goals which I want to accomplish in the next six months and I want to add two things to that list and then I think it will be completed. I am adding- apply and get into graduate school and then my last goal which I want to be completed by the end of 2012 is to get married.

Despite the failure of my marriage, I have taken the negative aspects of that marriage and moved on to a more positive life. Everything I have gone through in my life, every struggle, painful event and moment of weakness has led me to the person I am today so to say I would change anything about my life would be a mistake. I recognize how great I am and how blessed I can be from a marriage to the man that I love. Sometimes it's easy to get sucked into being bitter, lazy and complacent. It's easy to say, I'm single and loving life, why would I want the hardship of marriage? But it's not a hardship, it's a blessing and if you think any differently, I feel sad for you. Change can be hard to comprehend because we are creatures who want to constantly know. Marriage brings a certain mystery to life but I find that aspect exciting. If you choose a partner who will support you and you will support him and be willing to work on anything individually and together then your marriage will be awesome! I understand it's challenging to find someone who is compatible with you, shares the same goals in life, etc etc. That is a hard battle but hard battles are won everyday. I say once you do find that person who you feel an undeniable and unconditional love for, fight to the death in order to secure it.

May I share a piece from my journal with you? You really have no choice since you're reading what I've already written. Besides you're intrigued and I know you want to!

February 7th, 2011
An adventure. The wide open. No rules, no boundaries. I can go where I want to go. For the first time in my life I have no idea what to do or where I am going and that's ok. I am alright with the unknown.

I still feel like I don't necessarily know what my end result will be, but I know my goals and I know that Heavenly Fathers has great things planned for me. Following him means being happy and ultimately that is true freedom.

Amy xoxo

"Keep Holding On"
Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on

There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

In the beginning

Most of my friends have significant others. I don't. Insert new blog here. The main thing you need to know about me is that I'm an artist. My parents knew this fact when I was four due to a painting I created in preschool. It was of a clown and it looked like a six year old did it. Impressive. I won an art contest as a Junior in HS that only Seniors were supposed to win. Now I am all grown up with a life full of experiences like that. Some of my experiences have been soul ripping just like a muscle that has been worked out to the max, but I have grown, recovered and now I am the best version of myself. No longer a Caterpillar, I have become a Butterfly. I really know just how beautiful I am. I hope you enjoy experiencing the world through my eyes.

Amy xoxo

"Crystal Village"
Pete Yorn

Take my hand
Come with me
Into this crystal scenery
And wait, til I retain the ticket
You would never have the time
I would love to change your mind
You were there
And it was good in the beginning

Over here, see the lights
Arranging twilight sages
Commence to reveal it to the others
You would never have the time
I would love to change your mind
You were there
And it was good in the beginning
You were there
We were good in the beginning

Yeah, take my hand and come with me
Into this crystal village
And see the lights so fried in brightness
Cos you will never have the time
I would love to change your mind
You were there
And it was good in the beginning

Take my hand, come with me
I see the lights so brightly
And we fall as if we never really mattered
Cos you will never have the time
I would love to change your mind
It was there
And it was good in the beginning
We were there
It was good in the beginning.