Gossip girl

What are you planning for this weekend? It's Friday and I wish I were still in bed this morning, watching movies with a giant bowl of buttery popcorn, red vines, and plenty of Dr. Pepper and Fiji water to wash it all down. Ah, dreaming...
My friends Randy and Lauren are coming into town this evening. I need to keep working on that doing thing, but this time with more focus on my apartment. Why do I never make the time to clean it properly? Ugh, I don't like the word lazy and I especially don't like it associated with me in any way so I won't say it! But that's an accurate assessment of my situation here- let the judging begin! :)
Lauren was already planning on going to Lagoon amusement park before she knew Randy and I made plans with my friends Stephanie and Matt. I am excited we can all go together and have a fun time tomorrow! I need this weekend to be full of fun and relaxation. I know if I don't get it now, I will get it next week and that's definitely something to look forward to. More details to be revealed next week!
Yesterday after work, I came home, cleaned my apartment stairwell (it's my job which takes my rent down every month) and after that I was so tired! I haven't taken a nap after work this whole week. After carving my knee out in softball on Wednesday, I just needed a break! The problem with my naps is they last quite a while... a few hours sometimes. So even when I want to lay down for say, 30 minutes, it ends up being 2 hours. So the time I had set aside to clean my apartment yesterday was instead, spent sleeping in my warm, inviting bed... zzz...
But I got up around 8:30pm and started cleaning it then. I have a lot of clothing! A LOT A LOT. I hate folding laundry and putting it away- I would much rather clean a toilet! Lance and his friends were at the free Twilight concert on Thursday nights here in SLC and were going to CPK at the Gateway mall for dinner. I called Ryan to see if he wanted to come too since I haven't seen him since the REAL game last Saturday. That is another story for another time too! But Ryan was on his way to a local bar Dick 'n Dixie's to hang out with some of his friends which have become my friends too! :) I ended up at CPK with Lance and his coworker friends. It was awkward at first and I don't know why...? Maybe there was a difference in maturity levels? I don't think I am better than anyone else or more entitled in any way. Sometimes I feel like my time could be spent in better company, especially if that time is spent in an environment which is cultivating gossip. I was totally at fault for leading the conversation into the "let's gossip about someone else" area. After dinner, I felt like crap! Why would I let myself do that? I acted completely childish and like I said, I am no better than anyone else. That doesn't excuse the fact that I dissed someone else by laying out their whole life and flaws for others to examine- who the H do I think I am? The crazy part about it was that while this girl I was talking about was viewed in a negative light by everyone at the table, before discovering their thoughts about her, I quite liked her! I thought I was doing well in being assertive, but last night I realized I need and can do better! I cannot allow myself to be commonplace and ordinary when I can be a bright example to myself and to others. So to that girl, which in some weird way is like a lot of girls out there, I apologize. It never makes me feel good to know others have spoken negatively about me and I shouldn't have crossed the line and committed that same wrong last night.

Amy xoxo

"Breathe (2 AM)"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.