I cannot get over myself enought to write a decent post! Today sucked. The words that came vividly to mind were pain and pleasure.
My sister and I held onto each other all day, when not physically, in spirit. Cindy's funeral was one of celebration for her life, but it was something I wished I could be experiencing with her- LIFE. I will copy the notes I wrote while sitting at the funeral taking it all in. Some of these words are my own, some directly from the speakers:
Cindy
So we could learn from her. She is in good hands. Grateful for this knowledge. She shared her love and light. She carried light to us. Strength from love. Peace. Honored to be the Lord's children. I had the best years of Cindy's life. It was a pleasure to grow up with her. We celebrate her life. She would want us to be happy and love each other. Everyday her attitude was, I am going to conquer this! Imagine how great her joy will be after this hard trial. Cancer journey. A powerful teacher of unconditional love and light. Cindy and I are so much alike. From a different realm. She was an accepting person. Everyone loves Cindy. She made you feel like you were her favorite.
Shane is Cindy's step brother. His wife Stacy and my sister Liisa were looking through a scrapbook Liisa made of our life with Cindy starting around 1986. Stacy made an interesting comment to Liisa saying, I didn't know how close you guys were, Cindy was like your mom! And yes, Cindy was our summer mother. I had the best childhood because my two parents were willing to break their two hearts in order to share those pieces with others. Those summers are what made me the girl I am today. I am amazed at how loved I am and I warmly welcome it.
Amy xoxo
"Naked"
by Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah I'm fadin' and I call out
No one hears me
Never been, never felt, never thought I'd say a word
Weighed down
Safe now
You're naked inside your fear
You can't take back all those years
And shots in the dark from empty guns
Are never heard by anyone
Never heard by anyone
Yeah I'm hiding in the fallout
Now I'm wasted
They don't need me, don't want me, don't hear a word I say
Weighed down
Safe now
You're naked inside your fear
You can't take back all those years
And shots in the dark from empty guns
Are never heard by anyone
Never heard by anyone
Inside your head
No one's there
And I don't think I'll ever be
And I don't care
You're naked inside your fear
You can't take back all those years
And shots in the dark from empty guns
Are never heard by anyone
Never heard by anyone
By anyone
By anyone
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