The guilt complex

Very interesting that my coworker Rachel and I would talk about guilt yesterday and here I am faced with it head on last night and today. Why do we suffer from feeling guilty? I made a decision in my life to do things deliberately. I made a decision to not feel guilty. Not like a psychopath or anything. But what I mean to say is that I have made the decision to feel bad for what wrongs I have committed and then to move on from those mistakes. Repentance is a daily, key principle to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yes repentance is about confessing and forsaking but it is also coupled with forgiveness. And I mean granting ourselves with the permission to forgive ourselves.

"The Lord has said, “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43).

We must maintain an unyielding, permanent resolve that we will never repeat the transgression. When we keep this commitment, we will never experience the pain of that sin again. We must flee immediately from any compromising situation. If a certain situation causes us to sin or may cause us to sin, we must leave. We cannot linger in temptation and expect to overcome sin.

Restitution. We must restore as far as possible all that has been damaged by our actions, whether that is someone's property or someone's good reputation. Willing restitution shows the Lord that we will do all we can to repent.

Righteous Living. It is not enough to simply try to resist evil or empty our lives of sin. We must fill our lives with righteousness and engage in activities that bring spiritual power. We must immerse ourselves in the scriptures and pray daily for the Lord to give us strength beyond our own. At times, we should fast for special blessings.

Full obedience brings the complete power of the gospel into our lives, including increased strength to overcome our weaknesses. This obedience includes actions we might not initially consider part of repentance, such as attending meetings, paying tithing, giving service, and forgiving others."

http://lds.org/study/topics/repentance?lang=eng

If we truly forgive ourselves then we will be able to move on from those sins that we like to hold onto. We all like sin. There are certain ones which we know are harder for us than others. But true growth is measured by our strength to move past ourselves and reach to a higher standard. We cannot be afraid to become something great. We are capable of more than we think we are. So why? Why don't we do? Why are we afraid to become? What is holding us back? It's certainly not impossible, just unlikely that we will all reach our full potential in this life. But I can tell you what, I want someone who tries to reach for the impossible. I need that passionate man who isn't afraid to face himself and say, "I know I can do better. I love myself and my life now and of course my hot wife Amy, but I can resolve to reach higher." Because guess what? That is the kind of girl I am. I am not afraid anymore.

And it feels good to know that assertiveness is being recognized by someone other than myself. I live with myself every day so sometimes it's hard to see the progress I've been making. But tonight it was brought to my attention that this is a great time in my life because I am so strong. Yes, there has been a lot of loss in my life, but all of it has been for a purpose and I recognize those times of necessary instructions. I am a happy girl. I am living in the now. I can't think of a better way to live. With direction, purpose, clarity and resolve.

Amy xoxo

"Half Mast"

by Empire of the Sun

Come on now can we talk about it like we used to talk about
Hotel in the hills with a carousel
Farmhouse in the front a tractor in the lounge

Oh oh oh honey I need you round I know I know

Listen now can we talk in love and walk the town
Be easy now, go hiking through the hills in a summer gown
Raise the kids, peace within and make our sound

Hear me now, I'm down on knees and praying
though my faith is weak
without you so please baby please give us a chance
make amends and I will stand until the end
a million times a trillion more

Oh oh oh honey I need you round I know I know

Smile baby don't cry
I will only fly with you by my side
Baby I'm cornered now
Baby don't push me out
Lately I walk in doubt
Maybe it's crashing down
Baby can you save it now

Oh oh oh honey I need you round I know I know
Oh oh oh honey I need you round I know I know

Baby I'm cornered now
Baby don't push me out
Lately I walk in doubt
Maybe it's crashing down

Baby I'm cornered now
Baby don't push me out
Lately I walk in doubt
Maybe it's crashing down