"Love has different shades. Like the way I loved Cassia when I thought she'd never love me. The way I loved her on the Hill. The way I love her now that she came into the canyon for me. It's different. Deeper. I thought I loved her and wanted her before, but as we walk through the canyon I realize this could be more than a new shade. A whole new color."
"I think he's remembering again that everyone is gone. You wouldn't think you can forget but sometimes you can-for a moment or two. I've never been able to decide if I think that's a good thing or a bad thing. Forgetting lets you live without the pain for a moment but remembering hits hard."
"I try to calm myself, tell myself it's all right. Living things have flown from tighter spaces than this. I'm just a butterfly, a mourning cloak, sealed inside a cocoon with blind eyes and sticky wings. And suddenly, I wonder if the cocoons sometimes do not open, if the butterfly inside is ever simply not strong enough to break through.
A sob escapes my throat.
"Help," I say.
"It will be alright," he says. "Push along a little more."
And even in my panic, I hear the music in his deep voice, the sound of singing. I close my eyes, imagining my breath is his own, that he is with me."
These passages speak to me. They talk of love and of life. I am loving my book so far. I only have 90 more pages to go. I love how naive the characters are and how much they are discovering. I feel a lot like them. I realize I am very naive at times but I am learning and I am happy. More so I am learning to be happy always but that is something I have been developing over the course of my life and it's something which I feel comes naturally for me.
You know those moments which you are embedded deep down in to? And if you could just hold on for a while longer, suck more of the juice of that heaven then that moment could take you through the coming hard times you know are about to happen? Yes, that is how I feel about my life. There are times which are so sweet and so appealing to me that I never want to leave but I know that I must. I know that I need to leave in order to progress. I need to leave, but it won't be easy.
Amy xoxo
"Sky Blue Sky"
by Wilco
Oh, the band marched on in formation
The brass was phasing tunes I couldn't place
Windows open and raining in
Maroon, yellow, blue, gold and gray
The drunks were ricocheting
The old buildings downtown
Empty so long ago
Windows broken and dreaming
So happy to leave what was my home
With a sky blue sky
This rotten time
Wouldn't seem so bad to me now
Oh, I didn't die
I should be satisfied
I survived
That's good enough for now
With a sky blue sky
This rotten time
Wouldn't seem so bad to me now
Oh, if I didn't die
I should be satisfied
I survived
That's good enough for now
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